I’ve felt inspired on and off the past few days to write. I start to make sense of my thoughts, then I get distracted by something (a dog who shall remain unnamed). Sometimes it’s hard to sit in your thoughts, block out the world. Just think.
We all go through those times, when you feel like everything starts piling up. I’m normally a pretty optimistic person, but sometimes I get hit with fears and doubts. Last week was one of those weeks. I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty, but sometimes things just get you down! And I feel foolish, because I know that God puts us through things for reasons, and if we are faithful, we will be rewarded. He doesn’t give us more than we can handle, so why am I worried? He has the blueprints for my life, not me. Well, anyway, after a few rough days, I’m here today feeling much stronger and sure that we will be taken care of. God is bigger than any of our problems, it’s got to be offensive that we can’t even trust in that sometimes. He’s bigger than our finances, our poorly-built home, our health, our relationships…. He just Is. All we have to do is believe that and be faithful to Him.
Sunday was great turning point in my attitude. The music at church brought me to tears, as they sang a favorite of mine (similar to the video below, not quite as epic, but close), with Pastor Brian King from Mbugua, Africa. Just watching this video gives me chills!
With that great music, plus Brian King’s message, I was definitely feeling a little more comforted. As I sat there, I thought about all the people around me in the sanctuary going through their own trials and struggles, no doubt some much more serious than mine. And then I prayed for them. I prayed for my husband. I prayed for strangers.
Andrew has been gone since yesterday morning for work, so I’ve been at home with plenty of time to think about these things. I don’t have an answer, but I have more peace. I don’t know where we are headed. Andrew is unsure of our future here, but I am going to be trusting, faithful, and open to the door God opens for us. If that’s here, fantastic. If it’s not, then maybe God has a different plan than I do. Wouldn’t be the first time. He broke my heart when I didn’t get into P.T. school, but somehow I ended up with a job that I love more than I thought was possible. He’s got it all worked out. All we need is Him.
We will continue to walk the narrow way.