I’d like this to happen to me, right now. Minus the glutenous ones. Who knew there were SO many different flours. I’m a chef, and I had no idea! Nor, did I realize how many different kinds you have to blend together to get the texture of the one simple wheat flour. My head is spinning in flours. I have always loved flour. I love the texture in my hands. Just look, this was years back… I was maybe 14? I think that’s correct, it appears to be around Christmas time when I shaved off my eyebrows to resemble Avril Lavigne for Halloween. Yikes.
So, who knows about all these flours? I started an order on Bob’s Red Mill, then I started one on Amazon, then I went to Whole Foods…I have not purchased one. I have commitment issues with food sometimes. The prices ($$$$!), the amounts, how long do they last before going rancid? What are the essential ones? Which ones are basically synonyms of each other? I’m scared to try a baking recipe using ones different than suggested, because I’m not sure exactly how each one works. Almond Flour seems like a good one to have. But then so does Rice Flour and Brown Rice Flour. And Sweet Rice Flour. And Arrowroot Flour. Amaranth Flour? Buckwheat sounds useful. Chia Flour? (ChaChaChaChia!) Chick-pea flour.. Oh look, I have that one oddly enough. Potato Flour. Corn Flour. Hemp Flour? Quinoa Flour.. Sorghum Flour? Soya flour. Tapioca Flour, I do like the pudding. Where do I start in that list?!? What if a recipe calls for Potato and I have Rice? What will happen? I certainly don’t want to waste whatever I’m trying to make by having it flop. But maybe this is just what has to happen. This is a period of adjustment, in 10 years I’ll be an expert. But right now, all I want is for Will Ferrell to ring my door bell holding a big box of flours.
Christmas is rolling around, so if you see a large elf, let me know. =)